Sportbike Racing Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,466 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
> "The 'L' in CENTCOM stands for leadership..."
>
> "At this Command, we have written in large, black letters: DNR (Do Not
>Resuscitate) on the back of our security badges." Maj (CENTCOM)
>
> "'Leaning forward' is really just the first phase of 'falling on your
>face.'" Marine Col (MARFOREUR)
>
> "I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my
>butt."
>
> "None of us is as dumb as all of us." Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)
>
> "We're from the nuke shop, sir. We're the crazy aunt in the closet that
>nobody likes to talk about ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) in briefings
>
> "Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New Guinea is
>thinking of offering two platoons: one of Infantry (headhunters) and one
>of engineers (hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill.
>We've got no issues with that, but State is being anal about it." LTC
>(JS) on OIF coalition building
>
> "The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of
>"R's" in "fat chance..." GS-15 (SHAPE)
>
> "His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep..." MAJ (JS)
>
> "Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow,
>it would still happen behind schedule." CWO4 (EUCOM)
>
> "We are condemned men who are chained and will row in place until we
>rot." Lt Col (CENTCOM) on life at his Command
>
> "Right now we're pretty much the ham in a bad ham sandwich..."
>GO/FO(EUCOM)
>
> "If we wait until the last minute to do it, it'll only take a minute."
>MAJ(EUCOM)
>
> "The only reason that anything ever gets done is because there are
>pockets of competence in every command. The key is to find them, and
>then exploit the hell out of 'em." CDR (CENTCOM)
>
> "I may be slow, but I do poor work..." MAJ (USAREUR)
>
> "Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams."
>Maj(CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs at his Command
>
> "WE are the reason that Rumsfeld hates us..." LTC (EUCOM) doing some
>standard, Army self-flagellation
>
> "Working with Hungary is like watching a bad comedy set on auto
>repeat..." LCDR (EUCOM)
>
> "I finally figured out that when a Turkish officer tells you, "It's no
>problem," he means, for him." Maj (EUCOM)
>
> "Never in the history of the US Armed Forces have so many done so much
>for so few..." MAJ (Task Force Warrior) on the "success" of the Free
>Iraqi Forces (FIF) Training Program, where 1100 Army troops trained 77
>Iraqi exiles at the cost of, ...well, ...way too much...
>
> "Our days are spent trying to get some poor, unsuspecting third world
>country to pony up to spending a year in a sweltering desert, full of
>pissed off Arabs who would rather shave the back of their legs with a
>cheese grater than submit to foreign occupation by a country for whom
>they have nothing but contempt." LTC (JS) on the joys of coalition
>building
>
> "I guess the next thing they'll ask for is 300 US citizens with
>Hungarian last names to send to Iraq..." MAJ (JS) on the
>often-frustrating process of building the Iraqi coalition for Phase IV
>
> "Between us girls, would it help to clarify the issue if you knew that
>Hungary is land-locked?" CDR to MAJ (EUCOM) on why a deployment from
>Hungary is likely to be proceed by air vice sea
>
> "So, what do you wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?"..."I
>dunno, what do YOU wanna do?," etc. COL (DIA) describing the way OUSD(S)
>develops and implements their strategies
>
> "I'll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat..."Lt Col (EUCOM)
>after being assigned a difficult tasker
>
> "I guess this is the wrong power cord for the computer, huh?"
>LtCol(EUCOM) after the smoke cleared from plugging his 110V computer
>into a 220V outlet
>
> "OK, this is too stupid for words." LTC (JS)
>
> "When you get right up to the line that you're not supposed to cross,
>the only person in front of you will be me!" CDR (CENTCOM) on his view
>of the value of being politically correct in today's military
>
> "There's nothing wrong with crossing that line a little bit, it's
>jumping over it buck naked that will probably get you in trouble..." Lt
>Col(EUCOM) responding to the above
>
> "Never pet a burning dog." LTC (Tennessee National Guard)
>
> "Ah, the joys! of Paris: a unique chance to swill warm wine and be
>mesmerized by the dank ambrosia of unkempt armpits..." LCDR(NAVEUR)
>
> "Status quo,' as you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in...'"
>Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan
>
> "We are now past the good idea cutoff point..." MAJ (JS) on the fact
>that somebody always tries to "fine tune" a COA with more "good ideas"
>
> "Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6." Col (EUCOM)
>
> "I haven't complied with a darn thing and nothing bad has happened to
>me yet."
>
> "Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task
>the first two people you see."
>
> "Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time."
>
> "I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career."
>MAJ(JS)
>
> "Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure
>to make any progress."
>
> "It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it." LTC (EUCOM)
>
> "Creating smoking holes (with bombs) gives our lives meaning and
>enhances our manliness." LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference
>
> "Eventually, we have to 'make nice' with the French, although, since
>I'm new in my job, I have every expectation that I'll be contradicted."
>DOS rep at a Counter Terrorism Conference
>
> "Everyone should have an equal chance, but not everyone is equal."
>
> "You can get drunk enough to do most anything, but you have to realize
>going in that there are some things that, once you sober up and realize
>what you have done, will lead you to either grab a 12-gauge or stay
>drunk for the rest of your life."
>
> "Once you accept that a dog is a dog, you can't get upset when it
>barks. "Lt Col (USSOCOM), excerpts
>
> "That guy just won't take 'yes' for an answer." MAJ (EUCOM)
>
> "Let's just call Lessons Learned what they really are:
>institutionalized scab picking."
>
> "I can describe what it feels like being a Staff Officer in two words:
>distilled pain." CDR (NAVEUR)
>
> "When all else fails, simply revel in the absurdity of it all."
>LCDR(CENTCOM)
>
> "Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed to sheer
>stupidity." LTC (CENTCOM)
>
> "They also serve, who sit and surf the NIPR." CPT (CENTCOM)
>
> "I hear so much about Ft. Bragg. Where is it?" "It's in the western
>part of southeastern North Carolina." LCDR and CPT (EUCOM)
>
> "I've become the master of nodding my head and acting like I give a
>sh*t, and then instantly forgetting what the hell a person was saying
>the moment they walk away." Flag-level Executive Assistant
>
> "Mark my words, this Internet thing is gonna catch on someday."
>LTC(EUCOM)
>
> "You're not a loser. You're just not my kind of winner..." GS-14 (OSD)
>
> "He who strives for the minimum rarely attains it." GS-12 (DOS)
>
> "If I'd had more time, I'da written a shorter brief..." Maj (EUCOM)
>
> "I work at EUCOM. I know bullsh_t when I see it." LTC (EUCOM) in a game
>of office poker
>
> "You only know as much as you don't know." GO (EUCOM)
>
> "I'm just livin' the dream..." EUCOM staffer response to the
>question,"How's it going?" or, "What are you doing?"
>
> "I'm just ranting...I have nothing useful to say." LTC (EUCOM)
>
> "Why would an enemy want to bomb this place and end all the confusion?"
>GS-14 (EUCOM)
>
> "Other than the fact that there's no beer, an early curfew, and women
>that wear face coverings for a very good reason, Kabul is really a
>wonderful place to visit." LTC (CENTCOM)
>
> "It was seen, ...visually." LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance
>briefing
>
> "Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a staff..." "This
>should be a short conversation." Lt Col to Lt Col (EUCOM)
>
> "Hello gentlemen. Are we in today or are you just ignoring my request?"
>GS-15 (DSCA) in an email to EUCOM staffers
>
> "After seeing the way this place works, I bet that Mickey Mouse wears a
>EUCOM watch." Maj (EUCOM)
>
> "Your Key Issues are so 2003..." CPT (CJTF-180) in January 2004
>
> "USCENTCOM commanders announced today that they intend to maintain
>their presence in Qatar "until the sun runs out of hydrogen," thus
>committing the US to the longest duration deployment in human history.
>When asked how they planned to maintain the presence in Qatar for a
>projected length of 4 to 5 billion years, planners said "we're working
>on a plan for that. We don't have one yet, but not having a plan or an
>intelligent reason to do something has never been much of an impediment
>for us in the past; we don't foresee it being a big show stopper for us
>in the future either." Among the options that were being discussed was
>an innovative program to "interbreed" the deployed personnel. "We are
>going to actively encourage the military members in Qatar to intermarry
>and raise children that will replace them in the future. Sure, it may
>be a little hard on some of our female service members, since there
>currently are about 8 men for every woman over there, but we expect that
>to be OBE as the sex ratios will even out in a generation or two. In
>any case the key to the plan is to make these assignments not only
>permanent, but inheritable and hereditary. For example, if you currently
>work the JOC weather desk, so will your children, and their children,
>and their children, ad infinitum. We like to think of it as job
>security." CPT (CJTF-180)
>
> "That's FUBIJAR." COL (CENTCOM), Fu--ed Up, But I'm Just a Reservist...
>
> "I keep myself confused on purpose, just in case I am captured and fall
>into enemy hands!" GO/FO (CENTCOM)
>
> "Does anybody around here remember if I did anything this year?"
>LTC(EUCOM) preparing his Officer Evaluation Report support form
>
> "I'd be happy to classify this document for you. Could you tell me its
>classification?" GS11 (EUCOM) in an email from the Foreign Disclosure
>office
>
> "Nothing is too good for you guys...and that's exactly what you're
>gonna get..." LTC (EUCOM) describing the way Army policy is formulated
>
> "The only thing that sucks worse than being me is being you..."
>LTC(EUCOM)
>
> "I have to know what I don't know..." Col (CENTCOM) during a shift
>changeover briefing
>
> "No. Now I'm simply confused at a higher level..." Foreign GO/FO when
>asked if he had any questions following a transformation brief at JFCOM
>
> "I'm planning on taking the weekend off...notionally..." LT (EUCOM)
>midway through a huge, simulated command exercise
>
> "I've heard of 'buzzwords' before but I have never experienced a 'buzz
>sentence' or a 'buzz paragraph' until today." Maj (EUCOM) after
>listening to a JFCOM trainer/mentor
>
> "We've got to start collaborating between the collaboration systems."
>
> "Our plan for the Olympics is to take all the ops and put it in the
>special room we have developed for ops." GO/FO (EUCOM)
>
> "Did you hear that NPR is canning Bob Edwards?" "Why? Did they catch
>him standing up for the National Anthem or something??" COL to CDR
>(EUCOM)
>
> "Not to be uncooperative, but we're just being uncooperative." CDR
>(EUCOM) in an email response to a request for information
>
> "He cloaked himself in an impenetrable veneer of terminology." Lt Col
>JFCOM describing the Jiffiecom alpha male
>
> "Transformation has long been the buzzword for those that are
>dispossessed, dispirited, and disillusioned..." Chaplain (EUCOM),
>allegedly.
>
> "There are more disconnects on this issue than CENTCOM has staff
>officers." GO/FO (EUCOM)
>
> "Is that a Navy or a Marine admiral?" MAJ (EUCOM)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
"His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep..." MAJ (JS)


That's an Officer for ya, but then it's usually an E-5 running that power point for him, all that they need to know how to do is READ.
:wink:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
321 Posts
[ QUOTE ]
"That's FUBIJAR." COL (CENTCOM), Fu--ed Up, But I'm Just a Reservist

[/ QUOTE ]

hahaahha im definately gonna have to use thta one!!!

"hey corporal martin, make sure you dont leave the keys in the humvee!!"

-my plt commander (1st lt)in afghanistan :crazy:
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top