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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay so I am tired of sending checks and sons mother complaining that it is late, that I didnt send it , or that I didnt give her enough money ..
So I was thinking of opening up a bank account and have a portion of my paycheck go into the account automatically (direct deposit)
and just giving her the atm card - NO CC LOGO on it - so just a atm card.
Do you think there would be any problems with that and is there a way that she would be able overdraw the account or screw something up for me since it will be in my name?
I think this would work out well so I also would have record of where its being spent and when .
 

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Does your bank support online checks(I use standard federal and they do)? That would be perfect you can send a check to anyone and schedule it to be recurring and you would have bank records showing you paid/sent it.

I'd be concerned about her somehow using that account to obtain credit or something, also what about fees? You would be charged for too many transactions(there is a transaction limit for savings accounts) based on a new federal law as well as minimum balance fee's/etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
[ QUOTE ]
TheDude27 said:
Does your bank support online checks(I use standard federal and they do)? That would be perfect you can send a check to anyone and schedule it to be recurring and you would have bank records showing you paid/sent it.

I'd be concerned about her somehow using that account to obtain credit or something, also what about fees? You would be charged for too many transactions(there is a transaction limit for savings accounts) based on a new federal law as well as minimum balance fee's/etc.

[/ QUOTE ]


Very good question , My x-g/f is the manager at my bank (not sons mother ) and she has helped me alot so I will make sure and ask her when I call her this afternoon .
 

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My work offers direct deposit to multiple bank accounts. I have child support payments send directly (I am paid weekly) to her bank account. It's never late, I never need to write a check, etc. Smooth and easy. See if she will give you her bank info, and if your employer offers it you've got it made.

Or if you want you can send the money to me. I may not remember to pay her for you, but my 954 will have lots of new goodies.
 

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How about setting up a savings account or similar for the kid, with both you and the ex on the account also. If it's at the same bank as your checking account, you can probably set up a recurring transfer and the ex can then either withdraw the money or transfer it to her account. Ideally, if you do this method, the ex could leave a little in the account each month so the kid could have a savings account. Just an idea........

Also, if things are done electronically, there's always a record of it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
[ QUOTE ]
redhurricane said:
My work offers direct deposit to multiple bank accounts. I have child support payments send directly (I am paid weekly) to her bank account. It's never late, I never need to write a check, etc. Smooth and easy. See if she will give you her bank info, and if your employer offers it you've got it made.

Or if you want you can send the money to me. I may not remember to pay her for you, but my 954 will have lots of new goodies.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah I dont think she will give me her bank info we are not on the best of terms and she thinks that I am a irrisponsible a$$hole .
So that out of the question , but very similiar to what I want to do .

Can I open the account up in my sons name he is going to 8 y/o
 

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[ QUOTE ]
OldBikezx-10 said:
[ QUOTE ]
redhurricane said:
My work offers direct deposit to multiple bank accounts. I have child support payments send directly (I am paid weekly) to her bank account. It's never late, I never need to write a check, etc. Smooth and easy. See if she will give you her bank info, and if your employer offers it you've got it made.

Or if you want you can send the money to me. I may not remember to pay her for you, but my 954 will have lots of new goodies.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah I dont think she will give me her bank info we are not on the best of terms and she thinks that I am a irrisponsible a$$hole .
So that out of the question , but very similiar to what I want to do .

Can I open the account up in my sons name he is going to 8 y/o

[/ QUOTE ]

[sarcasm]Funny, my ex was a dream. You mean she was supposed to be impossible to deal with for me to leave her?[/sarcasm]

She does not need to give it to you, if you have an HR department they can handle it with her. You can also become quite the salesman on the topic, this would allow you to not look so "irresponsible" to her. You're never late, the amount stays consistent, etc. I have paid consistently since day one of separation, she's got nothing to bi*ch about, and never will.
 

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I used to hand my ex the check directly until she thought she'd get more money from me by going through the state.... She's been complaining about not getting her checks, but it just isn't my problem anymore.... I get paid monthly and the way my pension works, they can't take it out directly... So... I get my check, deposit it, wait for it to clear and mail the check out to Upstate NY, we live on Li... So now her check has to go a few hundred miles away, be processed and mailed back to her... Considering my bank is across from where she works, she's kinda dumb....

There's a class action suit going on right now to try and make people who get CS more accountable for whant they do with the money.... I know my son't doesn't get it, it's paying her mortgage...
 

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[ QUOTE ]
OldBikezx-10 said:
Anyone feel comftorable with posting what they have to pay for child support?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes.

Enough. I can't say "too much" because some of it eventually goes to my kids. If it were a dime, it's still going to my kids and I have no room to complain. Would I like to have that money? Sure. But then again I'd like to have my kids all the time, too.
 

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[ QUOTE ]
VTL1180NY said:
I used to hand my ex the check directly until she thought she'd get more money from me by going through the state.... She's been complaining about not getting her checks, but it just isn't my problem anymore.... I get paid monthly and the way my pension works, they can't take it out directly... So... I get my check, deposit it, wait for it to clear and mail the check out to Upstate NY, we live on Li... So now her check has to go a few hundred miles away, be processed and mailed back to her... Considering my bank is across from where she works, she's kinda dumb....

There's a class action suit going on right now to try and make people who get CS more accountable for whant they do with the money.... I know my son't doesn't get it, it's paying her mortgage...

[/ QUOTE ]

Not being a smartass here but, if you are paying child support and the money she gets goes to paying for a roof over your childs head how is the child not benefitting from it?

My Ex pays me NOTHING, the money I get from working goes directly to keeping a roof over my sons head,food in the fridge, utilities and car payment aside. "IF" anything is left over he is clothed and occasionally some toys and educational items. Yet, if I ask him and his Mother to watch my son for a weekend so I can have some social life I get the riot act and how I should stop wasting my money on frivolous things /wwwthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

<sarcasm on> Because yes! I live for free in the Taj Mahal, where countless servants are at my beck and call and I have this huge ass money tree in the back yard where I pick off hundreds at my whim and spend it on jewels and cars and trips around the world<sarcasm off>

So one should consider both sides before making assumptions on how the funds are spent, I mean who else is footing the bill here? Santa? /wwwthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif If she were the major bread winner and you had to keep your child full time would you expect her to make you account for every red cent and would you also not think that rent/mortgage is included in child upkeep?

Inquiring minds......
 

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[ QUOTE ]
evilmink269 said:


My Ex pays me NOTHING,

[/ QUOTE ]

"Bitter, party of one, your table is ready"

I am kidding. Please take no offense to that last statement. You probably have the right to ask for child support, why don't you? It's his child, too.


Sad, really. What you explained is quite common for a lot of folks. One reason I heard from a single mother was "I don't want a thing from that deadbeat" (but she consistently badmouthed him for not offering to do the right thing) I guess if the other parent is not able to contribute fiscally, there's nothing to give. My ex can badmouth me all she wants, I pay what I should PLUS some extra, so she's never got the option to come back later and say "I didn't do my part" or some crap like that.
 

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Bitter has NOTHING to do with it, I don't even like him enough to hate him. He is a dead beat plain and simple he barely works and expects me to give him money for the weekends when I do get him to watch our son. Hindsight is 20/20 if I knew then what I know now things would be a whole lot different child support wouldn't be an issue.

As for getting child support from someone who is just this shy of being a homeless person its a tad more difficult than collecting from guys such as the ones who post here who actually work and take some personal responsibility for their children. Don't always assume that the woman is just a taker who lives high on the hog off of at best, a 200 support check.

Choking on bone of contention :lol:
 

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$200????


Maybe for a couple DAYS.......

I am sure there are a lot of people here paying a lot more than that, myself included. My point was also that some cannot afford much of anything. If that person is homeless, unemployed, etc. it's not likely they are going to pay $1500/month.
 

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[ QUOTE ]
redhurricane said:
$200????

Maybe for a couple DAYS.......

[/ QUOTE ]

One of my technicians has a 65% wage assignment and pays $3100 a month to his ex wife who has custody of his two kids. On top of that he doesn't even SEE his multi-thoudsand dollar tax return every year, and somehow they're threateing to take MORE than 100% of what he earns...so they'll be trying to take his money long after the kids grow up.

After taxes and everything, he gets like $300 a week. In California, that ain't much, especially with an $800 mortgage. Not that I don't think he deserves to shell out alot of cash (I know how much he drinks...), but that's ALOT of money. His parent's are fairly well off (not multi-zillionaires, mind you), which is why I think the courts have been so hard on him.

Plus, he fights back. He's had more than one judge removed, and he's going to be in federal court next week trying to get a federal judge removed.
 

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He should fight back! that is an outrageous amount unless his wife is a deadbeat and doesn't work at all. I'd like to have just enough to maybe have some extra luxuries like a savings account, a retirement fund that isn't my 401k so that I won't have to eat cat food as an elderly woman. :frown:

Its a shame that people do get taken advantage, that sucks! I don't have that prospect for child support and I'm not going to go to Welfare besides I make too much. I just admire those of you guys who do pay :waytogo:

Oldbike, I would recommend you speak to someone who can give you legal advice to make sure that the account is used for your childs benefits.
 

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There's really nothing at this point that you can do to ensure the other parent is using the funds solely for the childs benefit. I am pretty sure I make my ex's new truck payment, and for her purse fetish (yes, it's real- got suckered into the D&B thing a few times). Then there was the horse thing, and the "I want to go play while you run the household" thing.

Oldbike, if you got out with your life and your sanity, you're already ahead of the game.
 

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Returning to the original question:

I would advise against setting up an account in your name and giving your ex-wife an ATM card--that's setting you up to suffer any consequences of her actions (the aforementioned banking fees may only be the tip of the iceberg). Further, with the account in your name, the money and any interest in the account will show up as your personal income and would be subject to taxes, etc. even though, in those terms, the money isn't yours.

Even if she refuses to supply her bank account #s to you, you should still be able to go to her bank and make a deposit into her account--I've deposited money into friends and relatives accounts numerous times with nothing more than their name and address and/or phone number.

You could open an account in your son's name, but that may not satisfy the letter of the law--i.e. payments to be made directly to your ex.

A slight modification of your idea is to create a trust, name your ex and your son as beneficiaries, and then open the account in the name of the trust. Then you can give your ex an ATM card for the account while protecting your own financial standing.
 

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questions FMI:

1. do mothers almost always get custody? If so, why? and if so, doesn't that mean a loaded deck against fathers?

2. if the father gets custody, does the mother have to kick up support payments?

gosh, I am so glad that divorce is non existent in my culture and families get together to raise kids in an inclusive family environment. Kids never get subjected to separation from a parent, custody conflict and hate between parents, etc. Quite the opposite, in fact, the whole family comes in to help raise the kids. like i know my kids will never go to day care because my mom is standing by to be surrogate mom to them for as long as and whenever she is needed including moving to be near us for that purpose, and my sister would take in my children exactly as her own should it be needed, etc.
 
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