[kuma]

Hi gang,

I like this community a lot and feel people here can share my thought. Just want to know here in ESB, when did people have their first baby. I am 27 yrs old, but dont think I am ready for kid yet, financially and mentally. I wonder how you become ready for a new life.
Do you prepare for it and become ready, or when your wife pregnants, it forces you to be ready?

I guess I still have selfish mindset where I feel kid is going to rob my time for fun. You know, things like motorcycling, computer, or gaming. I feel the kid will change my way of life and I really dont sit too well with that. It's the feeling of uncertainty that scares me the most. Please, share your thoughts with me. I am seriously looking for some hints and advices on this issue.


Mark :help:

 

[katatak]

I had my first at age 31, 11 days ago. Now I can think about bikes again as soon as these stitches heal. (Hats off to you fuzzy, weren't you back on a bike about 2 weeks after an episiotomy?)

I was not ready, am not ready, and probably will never be ready but enjoying it so far. I could use a little more sleep though. Kids do change everything, but I knew that from before with my step son. He changed everything a couple of days a week. This one changes things full time. (So at least I got eased into the position.)

But, God, am I in love with this kid.

 

[erik996]

I was 32 and my wife was 33 when our daughter was born. We tried for 5 years and spent upwards of $20k, but it was well worth it.

Having a child isn't cheap, but it's not as bad as I thought. The one thing I wasn't prepared for, though, was the demands on my time. I work four 10 hour days for my workweek, and I went from having three days to do whatever the hell I wanted, to having no days off. My riding time has dwindled to a fraction of what it used to be, but that's part of the price of having kids.

I'm so glad I have a child, but it was totally different than I thought. Only you will know when the time is right, or when you just bite the bullet and do it. Nothing can prepare you for being a parent, but it's well worth it.

The only thing I can suggest to you is this: talk to your spouse about your expectations before anything happens. Too often, people just have their own idea about what will happen, and it's not the same for their spouse, but they don't talk about it. Then, when things aren't what you expected, people aren't happy. Communicate, and be willing to comprimise.

There really is no feeling as good as your little one smiling at you for the first time, or calling you 'daddy' for the first time, etc.......

 

[pudding7]

I'm 30 and my wife is 28. We've begun seriously talking about it. I'm certainly not in the "hell yeah! let's have a kid!" mindset. I'm not opposed to it, but I'm not terribly excited about it. This concerns me. Seems like I should be more interested before we do. She's concerned that we're going to be too old if we wait. Eh, I don't know...

 

[SpikedLemon]

Why I don't want kids yet.

 

[flankr7]

Had my first one a year or so back, tastes best with A1 sauce.

:grin:

 

[KRG_Designs]

I had my first when I was 23 and my wife was 19. Then my second 4yrs later. First a boy then a girl and now they are 4 and 7 and I am very proud of them and a very proud dad. But it all depends on how much you can compromise but its all worth it to me.

 

[OldFatGuy]

I was 24 when I had my first. Now I'm 38. If I had waited until I was "ready", I still wouldn't have any kids. At some point, you just need to do it if you're going to. It's kind of nice not being 75 years old when your kids are teenagers.

 

[L8RG8R]

Just turned 27 on Nov. 30. Had a daughter on Nov 11 (our first). Completely worth every waking moment :wink:

 

[onearmedbandit]

24yrs for me, and my life will never be the same. My daughter is 5yrs old now, and she is my world. They change you, for the better. You no longer are the centre of the universe, the little one that calls you 'dad' now is. :laugh: :laugh:

 

[WFO-900]

There is no specific age. But it does take a MAN to be a father.

IMO you should be grownup by 27, but everyone matures at different rates.

One piece of advice that may or may not ease your mind...

Everyone told me it would "change your life", or that "no more fun for you" etc.

What they didnt tell me is that once the baby is in your arms...you won't care. :smirk:

Don't worry, you're ready. Besides thinking about someone else instead of yourself is liberating. :wink:





.

 

[NegativeGs]

I was 31, the wife was 30. You are never ready for kids. You have to have faith and take the plunge. You will never cease to be amazed and surprised.

 

[f2benny]

We were both 35 when we had our daughter. But to me that was a bit too old. We still have not had the second and time is running out.

 

[cbr_damon]

I'm 28 and my wife is 35. I just had my first son a month ago, 11/19/04. My wife has two daughters from a previous marriage. But they were 4 and 8 when we met. So, I got to skip the baby part of it. Right now they are 9 and 12.

So, I am enjoying being a father to a baby very much. My wife and I tried to have a baby for four years and after many, many doctors appointments and thousands of dollars he is fianlly here.

I enjoyed my life before he was born. I golfed a few times a week. I skied a couple times a week. Now that ski season is here, I'm not dreading not skiing at all. None of that stuff matters when you see him just look into your eyes and smile. After he is a bit bigger, I will get back into my normal routine with all my activities. It's a trade off I wouldn't trade for the world.

I can't say I was totally prepared, I don't think you can be. You will find ways to manage, and it will all flow together and you won't even realize it.

 

[MyKa]

[ QUOTE ]
kuma said:
Hi gang,

I like this community a lot and feel people here can share my though. Just want to know here in ESB, when did people have their first baby. I am 27 yrs old, but dont think I am ready for kid yet, financially and mentally. I wonder how you become ready for a new life.
Do you prepare for it and become ready, or when your wife pregnants, it forces you to be ready?

I guess I still have selfish mindset where I feel kid is going to rob my time for fun. You know, things like motorcycling, computer, or gaming. I feel the kid will change my way of life and I really dont sit too well with that. It's the feeling of uncertainty that scares me the most. Please, share your thoughts with me. I am seriously looking for some hints and advices on this issue.


Mark :help:

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm in the exact same spot Mark. In Jan. I'm going to be 27. No kids yet and I don't feel ready. Everything you said, biking, playing games, hanging with friends,....I don't want it to end.

My wife and I have talked allot about it though. We are working to buy a house and she wants to establish her career more. Poor girl JUST finished colledge and realized it was pointless to go sence we are considering having kids soon and she wants to be a full time mom. So, our plan now is to let her have a real job for while and enjoy her hard work. After we have a house and a few things paid for, we plan to start cooking babies. Maybe someday she will go back to work but she is very loving and I can see a mother in her. I doubt she will work again for 5 years after the kid.

Anyways, I feel your pain. One thing to think about, we're not getting any younger. If you have a kid at 30...your going to be 50 when they are 20. Thats ok. But any later...and your going to be a old fart with a teenager! And who says you can only have one! Even now its likely that we will be in our 50's with some crazy kid taking our car out and racing the streets with his buddies at 2 a.m....I just hope my kids act better than I did!

Oh, one other thing ....my dad had me when he was pretty young and I really, really enjoyed going out and hunting, fishing, playing sports with him. The fact that he was young and active while I was at the age that a boy needs a dad to throw him a baseball was a true blessing. Kids deserve a healthy and active father. My wifes dad is really old and never does [censored]! I have always thought that it was so selfish of him to rob his daughters of a father that would partake in anything physical.

 

[kittykat92981]

I am 23 and my husband (Jonnyringo893) is 25, we just had our first on Thanksgiving, we were both pretty scared because we loved going out and partying and livin it up I guess you could say, neither one of us prepared to have a baby when it happened. The whole time I was pregnant I complained about wanting a drink and going out, but still havent drank and don't even care, life with him is tiring but totally worth it, I couldnt imagine life with a baby before but now I can't imagine life without him. So no we were not ready when I got pregnant but now we both love him to death and I wouldnt change a thing :waytogo:

 

[lucidity03]

I'm 26 and hubby is 32. We still have no kids.

I think he's more ready than me. I'm scared to death.

I worry about everything - the money, how we work, how I could handle having a child in daycare all the time, how I could deal with no sleep.

I also am still being selfish. I still want to be able to go out at the drop of a hat. I want to be spontaneous.

I have 7 nieces and nephews. I love them to death. But, they remind me that I'm not ready.

But, I hope I will some day....

 

[StuDaddy]

[ QUOTE ]
cbr_damon said:
I'm 28 and my wife is 35.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damon, you and I are the same... I'm 28, wife's 36. This fall we stopped being careful (read: not really trying, but not NOT trying... nahhmean?)
Well, we got lucky as hell... she was pregnant on the first try of the non-carefulness :waytogo:. She was scared as hell, being 36, that she'd have a hard time getting pregnant. But what can I say? I have stud swimmers!! :lol:

She's due in June '05, and I can't friggin wait!!
:bow:

 

[cbr_damon]

Congrats Stu! This pregnancy will fly. The baby will be here before you know it. Not long after the baby is born, you wonder what you ever did without him/her.

 

[kuma]

Thanks guys. Really. I guess I will be ready when the time comes. But seriously, NO ONE regrets how their little ones changed their life style?? Perhaps everyone that responded only had their children not long ago. Kids under 10 are all very cute.

And yeah, congra on Stud Swimmers. :lol:


Thanks
Mark