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The Allied Invasion. The Trojan Horse. The Divine Plan. The following strategy puts them all to shame because it defines how to finally defeat the great beast of society: women.

Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.

Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole ****in' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to [censored]. Again, mind games.

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.
 

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eScreaming Dizbuster
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[ QUOTE ]
Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

[/ QUOTE ]

Later, after the fireworks die down, she'll ask "How did you know?", as if it's a great mystery.
 

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#6 and #11 have worked for me...and by worked I mean, pissed her off more and consequently continued the fight. My favorite phrase is, "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you because I don't know what you're talking about, I'm sorry." I take sort of a military angle when arguing with my gal...the first and last words out of my hole are "I'm sorry". :grin: :laugh:
 

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[ QUOTE ]
sspiff22 said:
#6 and #11 have worked for me...and by worked I mean, pissed her off more and consequently continued the fight. My favorite phrase is, "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you because I don't know what you're talking about, I'm sorry." I take sort of a military angle when arguing with my gal...the first and last words out of my hole are "I'm sorry". :grin: :laugh:

[/ QUOTE ]

NEVER ADMIT WRONGDOING OR REMORSE!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :bird:
 

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[ QUOTE ]
novos said:
those are all valid points to get your balls hacked off while you sleep. :tongue: :bawling:

[/ QUOTE ]


:lol2: :waytogo: :lol2:
 

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step 3 and step 13 used in conjuction didn't result in balls being removed, but going to sleep after those statements resulted into being awakened by recieving a beating to the back of the head with a pair of steel toe boots. after escaping the house with just my keys and my newly shaped head that night, it resulted into thousands of dollars in divorce proceedings. one good thing came from this. my helmet fits so much better. :crazy:
 

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[ QUOTE ]
voodoo68 said:
step 3 and step 13 used in conjuction didn't result in balls being removed, but going to sleep after those statements resulted into being awakened by recieving a beating to the back of the head with a pair of steel toe boots. after escaping the house with just my keys and my newly shaped head that night, it resulted into thousands of dollars in divorce proceedings. one good thing came from this. my helmet fits so much better. :crazy:

[/ QUOTE ]

That reminds me of Delirous with Eddie Murphay.

"When I piss my lady off, she don't get all mad and scream and yell. She all calm and collected. "Aren't you mad baby??"
"No, I'm not mad. Now....why do you just go to sleep??"
Man, she make me run outta my own house!!"

:lol: :lol:

Paraphrased in type is not nearly as funny as him. That is the best stand up act OF ALL TIME!! :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
 

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But at least we're having fun moving instead of wadded up in a tree trying to parellel park :bird: :bird:
:lol: :lol: :help: :postwhore2:
 

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I'll have you know my 4 brothers taught me how to drive and I kick-ass at parallel parking :bird: :lol: But funny thing is I won't ask for directions either :lol:
 

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[ QUOTE ]
evilmink269 said:
:lol2: He might acquire all those skills but, he'll still be lost for days cuz he'll never ask for directions :lol2:

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats just because he hasn't caged his gyros up yet. I.E. Still getting his bearings.
 

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aprilia junkie
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[ QUOTE ]
evilmink269 said:
I'll have you know my 4 brothers taught me how to drive and I kick-ass at parallel parking :bird: :lol: But funny thing is I won't ask for directions either :lol:

[/ QUOTE ]

I ask for directions. AND i navigate by landmark.

Someone tells me "it's 2 miles west then half a mile east" i'm like WTF!? /wwwthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif :bird:

someone else says "go left on X street and then go 3 lights." and I'm there.
 

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eShoelessTVwatcher
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[ QUOTE ]
evilmink269 said:
:lol2: He might acquire all those skills but, he'll still be lost for days cuz he'll never ask for directions :lol2:

[/ QUOTE ]


Yeah that is what you think.
 
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